Home SicknessCan you feel it?Sadness deep in your soulA feeling you can’t make go away.Going through your daysDoing what everyone else doesSame routines, same goals, same bullshit.It all feels emptySo hollow and fakeNo happiness, no fulfillment.A feeling that you don’t belongLike a traveler in a foreign countryYou can coexist, but never feel at home.HomesicknessThis is what I feelI belong somewhere else.This lifeIt doesn’t feel rightNever has, never will.What is after death?The same as before lifeThe place I feel is my home.
Do you ever feel likeDo you ever feel likeeach day is a clone,an endless loopof the day before?Do you ever feel likethere isn't anythingto look forward to,no motivation or goals?Do you ever feel likean alien on your own planet,alone and uncomfortablein a crowd of people?Do you ever feel likeyou don't quite fit in,societies' way of thinkingjust feels foreign to you?Do you ever feel likelife is like a boring party,wanting desperately to leave,but not wanting to be rude?Do you ever feel likesometimes just saying, "Next",not really thinking of suicide,but just wanting to get it over with?Do you ever feel like this?Sometimes I do…
DepressionTears?Why am I fighting back tears?I don't feel sad, no bad thoughts.Lines from a movie, lyrics of a song, words from a friendTears again, WTF.Googled it.Tears for no reason.Depression? No way...A couple of online tests later,Moderate to severe Depression.Work sucksBoss a fulltime jerkArguments with the wifeRebellious teenage kid.C'est la vie.Depression though?Come on, not me! No way.Always joking around, creating laughs.But there they are again.Tears.
Grandma's Horrible ThingSweet old grandma'smost horrible thing.Stretches in her kitchenfrom floor to ceiling.Sitting at the table,in morning sun light.It bathes you withwarmth and delight.The sun goes down,things get dark.Curtains of innocence,starts to part.Kitchen lights off,And you can't see.Heart beat is racing,You want to flee.Reach for the switch,turn on the light.Think you are readyfor the next fright.Window, tall and wide,see-through and clear.Morphs into a mirror,and reflects your fear.Dash to the fridge,grab for a snack.Want to get out,before it can attack.Not able to see,to the other side.You know monsters,sit there and hide.Snack tight in hand,from there you race.Peek at the window,was that a face?In the TV room,you feel secure.Made it out alive,faced your fear.Nice and safe,or so you think.Until you realize,you forgot the drink.
HalloweenNot a time to wear a mask,A time to exchange them.Remove the “known” disguise,Hide behind another one.We all wear several masks.The mask for work,For general society,For home.A big middle finger,To the day-to-day life.Off of the hamster wheel,Freedom to be more you.It’s like a weekend,For the whole year.Twelve months ofFrustration released.Moving through society,More confidenceMore realnessMore I don’t give a shit.Tomorrow we’ll wearOur normal costumes.Of suits and ties,Uniforms and boots.But tonight we’llDance and frolicUntil we climax inAn explosion of candy.